I Didn't Lose My Way All at Once
I lost it in layers. And each layer taught me something about integration that no book, training, or ceremony ever could.
The Real Story
My first business started with my dad. He discovered CBD before most people knew what it was, and he saw something in me I hadn't yet seen in myself. I said yes to building a company because I trusted him. Somewhere along the way, I stopped following and started leading. He was my steadiest presence through the hardest seasons—and because of him, I became someone I didn't know I could be.
I went on to build multiple multi-million-dollar companies. And then I watched them fall apart—not because the market shifted, but because I didn't know how to hold complexity with compassion.
With my dad, where it all began
Where I Am Now
A few years ago, I couldn't tell you if my nervous system was regulated or dysregulated. I just knew I was having panic attacks and feeling bursts of rage. I literally needed to have a safe word with my dad (yes, it was “pineapple.”) People didn't feel safe around me, and I didn't feel safe in myself.
Now? I can:
- Hold bliss and terror in the same body without abandoning either
- Feel rage rise without it running me
- Recognize when I'm performing alignment vs. actually embodying it
- Trust my body's signals more than my mind's explanations
I'm still human. Still messy. But I know how to hold myself together while I fall apart—and I know how to hold you while you do the same.
That knowing didn't come from a book or a certification. It came from living through my own unraveling and learning how to integrate it without abandoning the parts that were inconvenient, uncomfortable, or hard to explain.
What You Can Expect Working With Me
I Won't:
- Tell you what to do. (You already know. Your body's been screaming it.)
- Let you spiritually bypass. (Frameworks don't replace feeling.)
- Rush you. (Integration happens at the pace your nervous system can handle.)
- Perform certainty when I don't have it. (And I won't let you either.)
I Will:
- Reflect back what your body's saying that your mind is overriding.
- Hold you accountable to your own truth (not mine).
- Offer tools that may work (because I've lived them).
- Create a container where it's finally safe to stop pretending.
This is slow work. Deep work.The kind that shifts your entire foundation—sometimes forever, sometimes just for this exact moment when you need it most.
I Learned About Integration the Hard Way
By Not Having It
My business partner betrayed the companies through a scandal I handled with zero compassion. In defending him, I became the villain in someone else's story. That person still won't speak to me.
My 25-year friendship ended with seven words: “I don't want to be associated with you in any way.” My foundation—my sense of home—crumbled.
I moved to Austin with my partner, hoping a fresh start would fix everything. Instead, I watched us grow further apart while pretending we weren't.
I didn't know it yet, but the reason I abandoned my businesses, friends, and family is because I abandoned myself over and over, like a frog slowly being boiled in water.
The Medicine that Gave Me Blissful Paradox
September 2021. Ayahuasca retreat in Cancun. My very late 30th birthday gift to myself.
I went looking for a spark to reignite my business. What I got was eight days and seven nights of ego death, orgasmic encounters with the divine, and a soul-deep reckoning with every choice I'd made that led me here.
Night one: Bliss. Pure communion with God. Pleasure so expansive I didn't know bodies could hold it.
The morning after: Shame so crushing I could barely breathe. Guilt. Disgust. Embarrassment. Terror that I'd never feel that alive again—and equal terror that I would.
I asked the shaman what was wrong with me. I asked her to fix it.
Her answer? “Your sacral chakra is completely blocked. Try Tantra.”
My response? “That weird sex shit? Anything but that.”
Her guidance? “Kundalini might be a better place to start.”
(Spoiler: I eventually found myself on the Tantra path. And it saved my life.)
Four Months of Hell
For months after that retreat, I tried to integrate alone.
My partner didn't want to hear about my breakdowns. My one friend who did psychedelics just used them to escape depression—he had no framework for integration. I was wandering my apartment at 3am, Googling whether ayahuasca could actually make you lose your mind.
My business kept tanking. My relationship was ending (I just couldn't admit it yet). I was living in a city where I had no roots, spiritually awake and completely dysregulated.
It was torture.
I had insights. I had breakthroughs. What I didn't have was anyone who could help me turn revelation into reality.
The Question That Changed Everything
I finally found a life coach who understood psychedelic integration. In one of our first calls, he asked:
“What would it be like to live without hope?”
It broke me open. Not because hope is bad—but because I'd been using hope as an excuse not to act.
Within a month, I ended my five-year relationship. Within two months, I forgave my mother for wounds I didn't think were forgivable. Within a year, I'd started the Tantra work that helped me finally face the perfectionist wound I'd been carrying since childhood.
Integration isn't optional. It's also not instant.
This Is Why I Do This Work
Because I know what it's like to have a life-changing breakthrough and no one to help you live it.
Because I know what it's like to be spiritually awake and emotionally dysregulated at the same time.
Because I know what it's like to abandon yourself over and over—in your business, your relationships, your body—until you forget what your own truth even sounds like.
I'm not here to give you mystical experiences.
I'm here to help you integrate the ones you've already had.
What I've Learned to Trust
My Body
After years of body dysmorphia and shame, I can finally be naked with the lights on. My relationship to pleasure keeps deepening in ways I can't explain—I can only invite you to find it for yourself.
My Daily Practice
I don't collect modalities to decorate my identity. I integrate them until they live in my nervous system. Then I teach what works.
My Curiosity
What this currently looks like is a lot of deep dives into Kundalini Yoga, Tantra, Human Design, Psychedelics/Snake Venom, Relationships, and the intersection of all of these in my life.
Why People Work With Me
Not because I have all the answers. But because I've lived the questions.
I know what it's like to need external permission to do what you internally know is right.
I know the stomach-drop moment when you realize you're playing a role in the Oppression Trap Triangle and you can't unsee it.
I know the fear of stepping into the unknown. The fear of failure. The fear of not being truly seen.
I also know there's another way.
You don't have to integrate alone.
You don't have to perform certainty when you're terrified.
You don't have to abandon yourself to keep everyone else comfortable.
You can choose differently.
And I can hold you while you do.
My Training
Because Credentials Matter, But They're Not the Whole Story
Psychedelic & Trauma Work
- Trauma-Informed Practitioner (Trauma and Somatics)
- Psychedelic Informed Master Coach (The Condor Approach)
- Certified Psychedelic Coach (Third Wave)
- Certified Bufo Practitioner (Kambo Healing Me)
- Certified Snake Venom & Kambo Practitioner (Psychonaut Academy)
- Mushroom Guide
Embodiment & Somatic Practices
- Somatic Breathwork Practitioner (SomatIQ™)
- Certified Kundalini Yoga Teacher (Yoga Alliance)
- Tantra Levels 1 & 2 (Ecstatic Hearts™)
- Sexual Empowerment Training (Ecstatic Hearts™)
- Awaken as Love (EverydayTantra™)
- Level 1 Graduate (International School of Temple Arts - ISTA)
Business & Education
- Former Founder & CEO (9 years, 3 multi-million-dollar companies)
- Bachelor's in Education and Political Science, Minor in Psychology
I spent years collecting these certifications, thinking they'd prove I was worthy. Now I know my worth isn't in my credentials. It's in my capacity to hold myself—and others—through their refinement process.
Let's Talk
If this resonates, book a free consultation.
We'll talk about where you've been, where you are, and whether this work is right for you. No performance. No pressure. Just truth.
Your body already knows if this is a yes.
Book a Free Consultation“What would it be like to live without hope?”
The question that ended my attachment to rescue.
The question that gave me back my power.
The question that taught me: No one is coming. And that's actually good news.
Because it means you get to be the one who saves yourself.